Friday, March 18, 2005
lurving you forever and ever*
Im really stressed..my parents are scolding me everyday...they say Im lazy..they say my friends are just slackers..useless people...why?why cant I have friends to hang out with?I really wish I could tell them I could no longer be the stef I used to be...the cheerful old stef...things have change as time passes by...I wished I was not born into this world...My parents dont understand me...my mom?Always finding problems to argue with me without knowing whats happening to me...and then my dad?comes in and scold me because I argued with my mom...I have to pass my every exam....up to their expectaions...I have to keep concentrating on my studies and volleyball...and on the other side I have to forget the memories I once had...This is driving me crazy...I dont wanna go home..I dont wanna go home when everyday I had quarrels with them...everyday say Im useless and very lazy...how would they know Im stressful except for my frens...I rmb when I do my fifth quiz..I cried..my tears made the quiz paper a hole...Mr Ang could see that Im stressed..but does my parents see that?they always think Im playing computer gamex and surfing the net toking to useless friends...without my friends...my body already will be in a coffin...Does my parents know I got chest pain so often?Does my parents know I cry in the room whenever I came back home and had to be cheerful when I come school?Does my parents know I have once liked a person so much that my motivation for going on has died?Does my parents know all these?All they do is blame and blame me.....I wished I could be sick...I really wish I could....I hope I could lie in the hospital hearing nothing...no scoldings or blaming of me...I wished I was not born.....I had to cheer my friends....my friends do cheer me up but it's useless..all I want is to see him toking to me again like a normal friend although I cant get his love anymore....All I wished is he would be there.....whenever Im sad..but will this happen?NO IT WOULDNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wont look back anymore. it just aint worth my time*